Artistic Musings

As time passes and I learn to live on my own and face my own fears of being alone I find that there is a tsunami of emotions I've not allowed myself to feel. These emotions have stood in the way of my artwork and free creation. They have stopped me with guilt from throwing myself fully into a moment to feel it entirely. My artwork comes from my passions, my heart, my soul, my whimsy and my desire to explore the unseen. I have allowed others to stop me and I have stopped myself from allowing that to shine - to really come forth and present itself in the form of images, written words, and physical representation. As I release the emotions of guilt, fear, trepidation and pain I am starting to see a whole new landscape before me. One where magic exists in the pages of my sketch books, where powerful landscapes and figures jump out of my daydreams and want to show themselves to the world decked out with their weapons, armor and various trinkets. Among my insane amounts of ...

So much has changed since my last post, and yet in a way nothing has changed. I am still seeking balance within myself. I am still trying to figure out what life and living is. The one answer I have found to be true is that I wasn't being true to myself. Due to that real failing towards myself I couldn't be much for anyone else around me. The past couple of months I have made tough decisions for the betterment of all. Some have called those decisions selfish - but if they had walked in my shoes and saw and felt what I felt they may or may not have made the same decisions. I don't posses any mind other than my own - and therefore cannot make any decisions beyond those I feel are the best for myself and my children at the time the decision is made. As a result of those decisions I sit in my own place, an apartment I now call home filled with light and color. There has been a series of emotional battles fought upon these floors - all within my own mind and heart. At f...