Shattered cages - new beginnings!

I used to dance alone in my living room when I was 16. Dance with the music up and with wild abandon. I didn't care how it looked, no one was watching. I was typically home alone, my mom at work and my brother hanging with his buddies. So i would dance, and use my imagination to create worlds of fantasy and beauty. All innocent. I danced until I was 18 - when I moved out in with a family from church. I haven't danced really since until now. Turn up the music and let my body move to the music and rhythm. Not caring what people think, and carve out times when I am alone. A deep connection to the words and music I feel move my soul. Last night as I danced my imagination took hold and I was in a cavern that reached 100's of feet into the air. I was connected to the primal magic that my written characters tend to have. I FELT my self made prison shatter into a million diamonds. I don't care what my 33 year old body looks like, I can change it. I don't care that my wardrobe is filled with frumpy clothing - it won't be for long. I don't care that I haven't had a passion to cook for the last 6 months - I can taste home made bread just out of reach. I don't care that time has passed and that depression has lead alot of my decisions - I'm making new ones now. I don't care what society says I should be or who I should be like - I am me - 100% me - and I can't wait to see what I can do with my artwork and written world. I find myself surrounded by supportive wonderful people who love me for who I am just as I am. Who want to see me really stretch my abilities and move forward on this creative path that calls so beautifully. I can taste the worlds I've read about, I can feel the winds filled with magic as I type. I know they will work their way into my stories, and my drawn and painted artwork. I don't care if I am ever famous, recognized or even known. I plan to create with the same wild abandon that I dance with.

My goal is still to inspire the world to be creative simply by doing what I love best.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

June

The house is quiet. It is strange still not having my kids full time. I thought I would find myself endlessly creating with wild abandon. That hasn't been the case. In fact most of the time I spend the time reflecting on what makes me tick. I have told my therapist I am my own best subject - I honestly mean it. I have turned my life inside out and backwards in my mind in the attempt to seek a healthy mentality. My life isn't that different from most people - we all have our trials and our tribulations. We all face challenges in a myriad of ways and live the life we've been given in the ways we see fit. What I'm finding as the days pass and I get used to being on my own is that creativity still runs through my veins as strongly as ever. It is presenting itself in different ways though. I write alot more, I've reinvented my wardrobe, My arrangements are getting better and quicker. My jewelry is taking on a whole new flavor, and I have a collection of sh...
Read more

3am

Here I sit looking at my computer while my family sleeps. My mind is going in circles over the movies I've just watched. The Book of Eli and then followed by Pandorium . I can't help but feel there is a personal message I'm just barely touching upon. A concept that hasn't quite sunk in that I'm missing. In the Tarot deck there are several cards where the person is chained or tied up - and the chains are broken. They are choosing to stay in their own paradigm out of fear to reach out to another life, or lifestyle. To break out of the "norm" into a happier life. I am certain that is what I have been doing. In The Book of Eli he is on a path of faith, of ultimate faith. Somewhere along the line I've lost that and just lived the life by going through the motions instead of REALLY living my life. In Pandorium perception twists the mind and causes so many issues for those that are awake on the ship. If they had just made different choices, learn...
Read more

New Life

So much has changed since my last post, and yet in a way nothing has changed. I am still seeking balance within myself. I am still trying to figure out what life and living is. The one answer I have found to be true is that I wasn't being true to myself. Due to that real failing towards myself I couldn't be much for anyone else around me. The past couple of months I have made tough decisions for the betterment of all. Some have called those decisions selfish - but if they had walked in my shoes and saw and felt what I felt they may or may not have made the same decisions. I don't posses any mind other than my own - and therefore cannot make any decisions beyond those I feel are the best for myself and my children at the time the decision is made. As a result of those decisions I sit in my own place, an apartment I now call home filled with light and color. There has been a series of emotional battles fought upon these floors - all within my own mind and heart. At f...
Read more