June
The house is quiet. It is strange still not having my kids full time. I thought I would find myself endlessly creating with wild abandon. That hasn't been the case. In fact most of the time I spend the time reflecting on what makes me tick. I have told my therapist I am my own best subject - I honestly mean it. I have turned my life inside out and backwards in my mind in the attempt to seek a healthy mentality. My life isn't that different from most people - we all have our trials and our tribulations. We all face challenges in a myriad of ways and live the life we've been given in the ways we see fit.
What I'm finding as the days pass and I get used to being on my own is that creativity still runs through my veins as strongly as ever. It is presenting itself in different ways though. I write alot more, I've reinvented my wardrobe, My arrangements are getting better and quicker. My jewelry is taking on a whole new flavor, and I have a collection of shoes (yes this is odd for me :P ) I seem to be my creative canvas for the moment. There is nothing wrong with that - I imagine everyone goes through phases where they totally overhaul themselves from the ground up. I rather like the spicier sassy me that is emerging. I ponder when I totally embrace my self confidence and strength what I will be like. I'm not so worried about the end result as I am enjoying the journey. The feel of new fabrics in my fingers and upon my skin, the sight of shoes that actually entice me (still very weird - I've always been a tom boy), all of a sudden I'm ooing and awing over corsets, steam punk Victorian era clothing, and chokers - I adore chokers. My old wardrobe has found itself on the racks of the local thrift store, and I hope it makes someone else happy. Theatre tickets, sampling new cuisine, and finding music that appeals is also a new focus. It's alot of fun :P
I do however feel I'm at a point where I need to start showing up to the page every day again. I have several projects that have sat on the back burner while I found my footing. Some I've promised to others, and some I have always wanted to do. Time to buckle down and see what appears on my page as I allow the creativity to take hold and really pull my focus into the projects. It's been a long times since I lost myself in a picture without fear of being interrupted. Rather excited at the prospect this really is what my new life is like. When the boys are here we play and play hard, when they go to bed I dance. Now it's time to switch things up a bit. Time to put the music on and let the rhythm guide my hand and paint and artwork.
I was talking to a dear friend of mine today about reconnecting and connecting with artists of like minds. I am starting to reach out and embrace other creatives in engaging conversations. Support and encouragement comes from without as well as within. There is nothing quite like an artist circle cheering each other on to make the creativity flow with more confidence.
Tiny steps - one at a time. Keep moving forward!! Keep breathing. :D and absolutely show up to the page and let the creativity guide the chosen tools of making :D As a very dear friend of mine reminded me - Leap and the Net will Appear! Serendipity will make the path smoother, and creativity really does like to breathe and live in new creations.
Yay - it's time to play!! :D
What I'm finding as the days pass and I get used to being on my own is that creativity still runs through my veins as strongly as ever. It is presenting itself in different ways though. I write alot more, I've reinvented my wardrobe, My arrangements are getting better and quicker. My jewelry is taking on a whole new flavor, and I have a collection of shoes (yes this is odd for me :P ) I seem to be my creative canvas for the moment. There is nothing wrong with that - I imagine everyone goes through phases where they totally overhaul themselves from the ground up. I rather like the spicier sassy me that is emerging. I ponder when I totally embrace my self confidence and strength what I will be like. I'm not so worried about the end result as I am enjoying the journey. The feel of new fabrics in my fingers and upon my skin, the sight of shoes that actually entice me (still very weird - I've always been a tom boy), all of a sudden I'm ooing and awing over corsets, steam punk Victorian era clothing, and chokers - I adore chokers. My old wardrobe has found itself on the racks of the local thrift store, and I hope it makes someone else happy. Theatre tickets, sampling new cuisine, and finding music that appeals is also a new focus. It's alot of fun :P
I do however feel I'm at a point where I need to start showing up to the page every day again. I have several projects that have sat on the back burner while I found my footing. Some I've promised to others, and some I have always wanted to do. Time to buckle down and see what appears on my page as I allow the creativity to take hold and really pull my focus into the projects. It's been a long times since I lost myself in a picture without fear of being interrupted. Rather excited at the prospect this really is what my new life is like. When the boys are here we play and play hard, when they go to bed I dance. Now it's time to switch things up a bit. Time to put the music on and let the rhythm guide my hand and paint and artwork.
I was talking to a dear friend of mine today about reconnecting and connecting with artists of like minds. I am starting to reach out and embrace other creatives in engaging conversations. Support and encouragement comes from without as well as within. There is nothing quite like an artist circle cheering each other on to make the creativity flow with more confidence.
Tiny steps - one at a time. Keep moving forward!! Keep breathing. :D and absolutely show up to the page and let the creativity guide the chosen tools of making :D As a very dear friend of mine reminded me - Leap and the Net will Appear! Serendipity will make the path smoother, and creativity really does like to breathe and live in new creations.
Yay - it's time to play!! :D
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