Distracted
The death of a friend completely derailed my focus on everything about a month ago... a death of an even closer friend derailed everything recently. My footing is teneous and I keep wanting to distract myself from all things.. I have thrown myself into work, I have thrown myself into trying to heal.
My creativity needs to get back on track. I need to set a time of day that is no disrupt time that I can draw, create, craft.
I think my quest to survive has been so all consuming because I am so far below the poverty line that any issue can tank my battleship so hard I could loose my apartment and all I have.. it is hard to have that tearing at the back of your mind all the time. Food stamps and donations from a local food pantry has literally been and saved my bacon and fed my kids. The need for a schedule that allows me to take care of my kids has been important. So I worked part time at Starbucks - they have ben amazing but $10 an hour for no more than 21-37 hours a week has yeilded $1000 or less a month... it's not enough. It hasn't been enough for a long time. It wears on the soul, drains my energy and my creativity.
So I am making changes. I have a new goal that will hopefully allow me to make the money I need, do the things I need to do, pay my bills, AND allow for creativity - because my soul has been on pause for far too long.
I hope being blatently honest will help me keep on track.
My creativity needs to get back on track. I need to set a time of day that is no disrupt time that I can draw, create, craft.
I think my quest to survive has been so all consuming because I am so far below the poverty line that any issue can tank my battleship so hard I could loose my apartment and all I have.. it is hard to have that tearing at the back of your mind all the time. Food stamps and donations from a local food pantry has literally been and saved my bacon and fed my kids. The need for a schedule that allows me to take care of my kids has been important. So I worked part time at Starbucks - they have ben amazing but $10 an hour for no more than 21-37 hours a week has yeilded $1000 or less a month... it's not enough. It hasn't been enough for a long time. It wears on the soul, drains my energy and my creativity.
So I am making changes. I have a new goal that will hopefully allow me to make the money I need, do the things I need to do, pay my bills, AND allow for creativity - because my soul has been on pause for far too long.
I hope being blatently honest will help me keep on track.
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